


light bugs

by donghyuckieuwu



Series: Walking On A Dream [1]
Category: NCT (Band), SM Rookies
Genre: :(, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Childhood Trauma, Crying, Denial of Feelings, Donghyuck has a weird habit of remembering the specific times of nonsense things, Friends to Lovers, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Implied Sexual Content, Internalized Homophobia, Lovers To Enemies, M/M, Mark Lee (NCT) is Whipped, References to Depression, Slight chatfic, Slow Burn, but doesn't realize until its too late, but im soft so also fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-04 22:54:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15157376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donghyuckieuwu/pseuds/donghyuckieuwu
Summary: Mark Lee suffers through sleepless nights.The light bugs trapped in the spider's web outside his window are the only indication he has that the world is still alive.Donghyuck patches himself up after endless embarrassment and ridiculing.The kind smiles he earns from the quiet boy who ended up on campus are the only indication he has that the world still has love to offer.





	1. desc.

**Author's Note:**

> hi!! this is my first work in a while, so bear with me uwu
> 
> sorry i didn't tag relationships, i didn't want to give anything away, i'll add more tags when things become established. 
> 
> please comment anything that you want to!!! criticism is very much appreciated!
> 
>  
> 
> the actual first chapter will be posted shortly :)

**Vague character desc. and relations :)**

**Note! Everyone will have their actual personalities. Of course, I'll write some parts in a way you may not seem fit as their personality, but being that I don't personally know the boys nor how they would react in certain situations, you may disagree.**

 

Johnny Seo - A senior at Teppeck Cross University, majoring in Health Services and Sciences, minoring in Kinesiology.

Lee Taeyong - A senior at Teppeck Cross University, majoring in Environmental Resource Management, minoring in Wildlife Technology.

Moon Taeil - A senior at Teppeck Cross University, majoring in Mathematical Sciences, minoring in Physics. 

Nakamoto Yuta - A senior at Teppeck Cross University, majoring in Human Services, minoring in Speech Pathology and Audiology.

Qian Kun - A junior at Teppeck Cross University, majoring in Culinary Arts, minoring in Business Management.

Kim Doyoung - A junior at Teppeck Cross University, majoring in Philosophy, minoring in Psychology and Social Sciences.

Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul/Ten - A Junior at Teppeck Cross Univerity, majoring in Performing Arts, minoring in Dance and Choreography.

Jung Jaehyun - A sophomore at Teppeck Cross University, majoring in Business, minoring in Finance and Statistics.

Dong Sicheng - A sophomore at Teppeck Cross University, majoring in Performing Arts, minoring in Dance and Choreography.

Kim Jungwoo - A sophomore transfer student at Teppeck Cross University, formerly from Sylvatown University. Majoring in Behavioral Sciences, minoring in Developmental Psychology.

Wong Yukhei - A freshman at Teppeck Cross University, majoring in Communication Arts, minoring in Modern Languages.

Mark Lee - A freshman at Teppeck Cross University, majoring in Computer Sciences, minoring in Engineering.

Huang Renjun - A freshman at Teppeck Cross University, majoring in Computer Sciences, minoring in Mathematical Sciences. 

Lee Jeno - A freshman at Teppeck Cross University, majoring in Communication Arts, minoring in Advertising and Designing.

Lee Donghyuck - A freshman transfer student at Teppeck Cross University. Formerly from University of Maptwood. Majoring in Social Sciences, minoring in Crime, Law and Justice Studies.

Na Jaemin - A freshman at Teppeck Cross University, majoring in Film and Video, minoring in Art and Architecture.

Zhong Chenle - A freshman at Teppeck Cross University, majoring in English, minoring in Journalism.

Park Jisung - A freshman at Teppeck Cross University, majoring in Sociology, minoring in health administration. 

 

**Note! I aged the Dreamies up a bit so they would all be freshmen :)**

**Now, please comment and tell me if I should change any of their majors or minors or anything like that!**

 

 

 

 


	2. Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's one of the most stressful weeks for the students of Teppeck Cross Uni, but Mark's focus seems to be elsewhere. 
> 
>  
> 
> This chapter includes: Mark, Renjun, Johnny, and mention of Donghyuck :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!! This is my first chapter for this series! I'm very excited to be writing this and to see where things go! Of course, I have an outline, but sometimes things change ;)
> 
> I hope everyone enjoys!

 

Flashes of light. Strings of unfinished sentences, fading into the distance. Warm brown eyes came into focus, muffled by strands of unkempt, fluffy brown hair.

"Wake up." The words were clear, but the figure in focus had not opened his mouth. He was staring. Just staring. Smirking, soon enough.

But then the figure blurred and the dimly illuminated ceiling came into focus. Mark Lee woke up in his frumpy bed, stretching his mouth open in a silent yawn. His eyes strained to focus on anything they could, slightly blinded by the ceiling light. He'd left it on again, much to his own dismay. Groaning, the teen slid off his high-set bed, legs wobbly as they made the all too familiar trek to the light switch. With a click, he was submerged into darkness. Blindly, he threw himself at his bed, not caring if he completely missed and ended up on the floor. Luckily for his already bruised body, he made it safely to the bed. His hand searched among the sheets for his phone, swiftly grabbing it and bringing it to his face without getting caught in the numerous layers of sheets and blankets. The phone came to life as soon as it was brought up to his face, the time reading 3:22 am. Two minutes behind schedule, but whatever. As if on cue, a faint glow comes from his window. Mark stares at the flickering glow for hours. Five hours and three minutes, to be exact. His alarm blares its ugly rhythm, and his index finger taps the lower end of the screen, stopping the alarm. He rolls to the other side of his bed, letting his legs slide off before making any real attempts to be a functioning part of society.

 

It's now 8:43 am as Mark walks to the far south side of campus, his light, yet worn backpack half slung over his shoulder. His shoelaces are unraveling as he walks, the double knots tied earlier in the morning only faint memories as the aglets slip past each other. Unaware to his appending doom, Mark lifts a tired hand to his face, shoving his fingerprint ridden glasses closer to his eyes, leaving yet another print on them. He's shuffling through a textbook, loose-leaf papers of notes tucked not so neatly between every few pages. His fate is sealed as he takes another step forward, his left foot catching the laces of the right, causing his momentum to bring him down. A hand shoots forward, attempting to grab the boy's backpack in order to keep him upright.

 

Which brings them to 8:46 am, a disheveled Mark Lee laying on the concrete of campus, and a half amused, half bewildered Huang Renjun standing still, brows furrowed as he stares at his friend. The ragged backpack belonging to Mark is left safely in Renjun's arms, while Mark himself contemplates dropping out of college to avoid anyone recognizing him as the boy who ate shit right outside the Information Technology Center of campus.

"Are you alright?" The soft voice asks, leaning down to grab his friend's glasses before grabbing his friend himself and bringing him to his feet. "I will be once I drop out. Goodbye, Huang Renjun, its been nice knowing you. Tell Professor Lim you'll need a new partner." Mark replies in all seriousness, holding out his hand for his glasses. Renjun holds the glasses above his head, eyes narrowing at his mess of a friend. "Don't joke about dropping out, I'll break your glasses if you do." The soft blonde threatens, eventually giving in and letting the glasses fall into Mark's hand. Their banter was all good-natured, of course.

Renjun knew that Mark would never drop out, he was too scared of failure to do that.

"Come on, we're gonna be late." Following Renjun's complaint, Mark huffs and brushes himself off, watching as blood trickles from his torn knee. "That's it for today, guys. Remember, you only have three days left to complete your project. I want it fully functional when presented, or else class will be incredibly boring and depressing as I hand out failing grades to you all." Prof. Lim smiles, shooing her students out in an impatient fashion. Mark's gaze is stuck on her as he slips out from his seat, filing behind his peers as he leaves class. Renjun follows behind him, rolling his eyes while pushing Mark forward. "Mark, if you don't hurry up, I swear on Chenle's grave that I will beat your ass." The words are hissed into his ear, and startle him back to reality. "Wh-... Wait, why Chenle?" He forgoes his first question in favor for a seemingly more important one.

Renjun sighs, tidying his sweater as he and Mark walk to his dorm, "Because, everyone loves Chenle. Tell me you wouldn't be sad if Chenle died because of you." Mark purses his lips, shrugging as if he was indifferent to his sweet friend's death. Mark pushes the door to his single bed dorm open, slapping his hand to the wall, sliding it upwards to turn on the light. His room is slightly messy, garbage overflowing from the can, his bed still unmade from the morning. Still counts as clean and tidy to him though, being that his desk isn't a complete mess yet. Renjun follows his worn-out friend into the dorm, kicking a leg back to shut the door behind him, inwardly cringing as it sounds an eery creak. His gaze is focused on his phone, teeth gnawing at his bottom lip as he scans over his texts.

"Johnny says Professor. Chae cancelled all classes today, so I guess we have an even longer break." Renjun sighs, mildly disappointed as he enjoyed Philosophy even more than Computer Engineering. "I told him we're in your dorm, he's on his way now. I'm gonna go get us food, since you seem to only have wrappers left for us to chew on, and Johnny is broke." The boy's voice carried a hint of bitterness to it, fairly warranted, though. Mark never took great care of himself, even when they were younger, it was always Mark's parents or Renjun looking after the boy. Renjun always figured that it was just Mark's drifting mind that kept him from paying attention to his own health, but now in college, he realized Mark actually had no idea how to take care of himself, let alone use a microwave. He just wished Mark would at least keep some food in his dorm, even a single cup of ramen would be enough. 

Mark didn't catch onto the bitterness, though, and he hummed in response to his friend, still sliding his shoes off. "Can you get me black bean noodles?" He asked the question with raised brows, hand fishing around in his jeans for his wallet.

He threw a 10,000 won note at his friend, who was staring stiffly with an exasperated look. As much as Renjun loved Mark, he still had a short temper, and Mark was figuratively beating it around. Not that Mark was aware of this, though. He never knew his actions annoyed anyone. He lived in a world of ignorance and bliss. At least, that's what everyone thought. Simply put, Mark was far too aware of everything that little details slipped past him. He dwelled on everything he could, often forgetting to pay attention to the moment. Overthinking was his specialty; a shame that he couldn't major in it. 

 

While Renjun was out, Johnny arrived to Mark's dorm, lazily slamming him hand on the door in what he called a knock. The knock was just to announce his arrival, in case Mark was in the middle of something. He'd seen that boy half naked in the middle of changing far too many times. He slowly twisted the knob, letting the door creak open. He slipped his head inside, slowly blinking. "No exposed body parts. Good. Just how I like it." He mused, half to himself, half to Mark. Mark lifted a hand in greeting, gaze stuck on his window. It took a few moments of Johnny staring idly at Mark for the teen to snap back to attention, his face flushing a rosy hue. "Sorry, hey Johnny," his voice was loud, almost like he didn't realize Johnny was only two feet away, "did you text Renjun what you want from the café? He's grabbing some snacks." "Yeah, I did. Did you happen to get some water stuck in your ear again? You're kinda yelling."

Mark smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck softly, "Was I? Sorry." 

This response made Johnny groan loudly, eyes rolling back in ill humor. "Mark, I swear to fucking god. If you don't snap out of this weird ass haze you got going on, I'm going to snap and murder everyone I see. It's been four weeks. FOUR! I know it's not all the projects you have due, because you finished half of them already, and you've never gone this far down the rabbit hole due to school work." Johnny sat down besides Mark on the lumpy bed, brushing a stray sock off the side with his hand. Mark opened his mouth to respond, but Johnny cut him off, his dark brown eyes fixed intensely on his friend. "We're worried for you, dude. Ever since school started up again after holiday, you've been acting like you've witnessed something so terrible that you can barely process. What is going on with you, man?" 

Mark stared back like a frightened kitten, eyes shaking, having trouble focusing on Johnny. "It's just... I met someone, and it's wrong. It's so wrong." 

His phone screen lit up, a text appearing.

It read: 

 _Private chat between LeeDonghyuck and MarkLee_  

 **LeeDonghyuck:** Hello? Mark, I'm sorry if I came on too strongly. I like you, y'know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like this chapter? Please let me know with a kudos or comment!
> 
> And please comment any questions about anything at all!! From my posting schedule to character relations, etc. I will answer to the best of my ability without giving anything away.


	3. Nerd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark meets Donghyuck while touring his campus and they hit it off. Kinda...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!! Hi! I hope anyone reading this enjoys this chapter, I've worked pretty hard on it if I can admit :)
> 
> This chapter takes place before chapter 2, where Mark has already been back to school for a while.  
> The next chapter will take place after this one, but before chapter 2 as well :) (sorry if thats confusing)
> 
> Also! The quotes in italics are song lyrics, and the quotes in bold and italics and song lyrics that are being played loud enough for others to hear.

 

"Hey mom, ya, no, I'm fine," Mark croaked, still in the groggy phase of his wake-up routine. "Mmm, yeah I did just wake up. No classes today. No, he's in Jilin right now, but I'll tell him you said hi."

He paced around his tiny dorm room, waiting for his mother to finish out her long check-in routine. Whenever he called, she asked the same base questions.

"...Yea- oh okay. Yes, tell him I said hi. Mhm, I miss him too. Anyw- uh yeah. Yes. Okay. No. No. I'll get breakfast soon, don't worry. Okay." Still not getting to where he wanted to in the conversation, Mark peeled the phone away from his ear, yelling at the walls of his dorm. With his arms spread out, he fell back onto his bed, wincing as his back was pierced by an unknown object. He quickly brought his phone back to his ear with his right hand while searching under himself with his left. "Aha!" He congratulated himself as he tore his glasses out from under him. "Ah, nothing, sorry mom." He said just as quickly as she questioned what he was 'aha-ing' at, casting the glasses away to the floor. 

Hours passed and Mark's phone was practically fused to his head, it would be a surprise if he wasn't diagnosed with cancer from the amount of radiation he was enduring. He felt bad for giving his mother such half-assed answers, but she didn't seem to mind. If she even noticed. Truthfully, he would've ended the conversation long ago if it wasn't for his immense guilt of preparing to lie to his parents. Then again, he could bare a little lie floating around his conscience much better than tolerate his parents and their shit personalities. In all reality, he was probably closer to his childhood babysitter than his parents. 

"Listen, mom, I gotta tell you something." He forced the sentence out, hoping his mother would shut up and just listen to him. When the other side of the conversation went silent and a little hum meaning 'Go on, then' sounded, he sucked in a breath. "I can't make it back home for this Christmas. I have a huge programming project due the first day back at Uni and I need all my attention on it." Mark breathed out, some words jumbling together. His mother said something like, "Oh, well I know how you get when you put something off. I understand, your father will too. So will your brother. Now get to work on it, I'll talk to you later. Love you, bye." but Mark had stopped listening after the 'I understand' and was jumping around in his room, knees coming up to his chest as he let his relief flow out. The other line was already dead before he got a chance to reply, so he threw his phone on his bed, a wide grin plastered on his face. 

Should he feel guilty that he was this happy about not having to see his parents? Probably.

But did he? Not at all.

 

Mark wandered his cold and empty campus, hands shoved stiffly into his pockets as he kicked his legs out, his body following the movement. Being that Teppeck Cross was a college filled with rich kids that could afford to travel back home for break, much like himself, he was almost completely alone. With the exception of the few professors and other staff that showed up irregularly to work and the one other student he had seen still on campus, Mark was pretty much left to himself. He didn't want to text Renjun or Johnny, as he had told them he was back in Canada for the break and the timezone difference would be questionable. Instead, he just used the time for himself. He felt like just needed to catch up with himself like one would do with an old friend. Except, all that old friend wanted to was watch 3 weeks worth of childhood cartoons and eat too much microwaveable ramen. Despite the temptation, Mark knew a bad idea when he thought of it, so he compromised with himself and only watched 2 weeks worth of cartoons and ate a slightly above average amount of ramen.

It was the 15th day of holiday break and Mark still hadn't accomplished anything productive. Although it was nice to just sit around all day, the smell of old ramen and musky old bedsheets was getting to him. He decided doing a little work wouldn't be so bad, especially after seeing his emails were overflowing at around 6,903. Yeah, definitely time to do something. Sitting up in his bed that was practically molded to his ass, Mark scrolled through his phone, eyes catching an email from a nearby university. It seemed that University of Maptwood was offering him a full scholarship if he transferred to their school for the rest of his college experience. He figured they must've seen his paper on practical quantum computers. Giving it a shrug and clicking the back arrow to continue on with reading his emails, Mark let the thought of switching colleges leave his mind. Until later that day, when he had finished showering and reading through a Philosophy textbook and was left with nothing more to do.

"Fuck it." Mark mumbled, throwing his winter jacket on hastily, shoving his phone into the back pocket of his tight black jeans, swiping a sling bag from his desk chair and throwing in over his shoulder. When he stepped outside his dorm and traveled down the dimly lit halls, a shiver ran through his body. He was already regretting not putting on more layers. He was too lazy to backtrack, though. 

Only when the brunette reached his car did he realize he had left his keys on his bed. "Motherfucker." He sighed to himself, banging his head off of his car window. "Subways it is, then." 

After a few failed attempts of trying to get past the gates of the subway, Mark was finally admitted into the chaos that was the underground railroad system. He basically folded into himself, his sling bag now pushed tightly to his chest, his phone clenched in his fist. It wasn't like he had a natural distrustment of strangers, but that's exactly what he had. Mark silently prayed he was right on time for the next cart heading to Maptwood, and it seemed he was the luckiest kid in the world when he saw the cart slowly starting to shift. He booked it in, not minding the disgusted faces strangers pointed at him as he knocked into them. Maptwood was a big city, so the cart was packed, unfortunately, that meant Mark had to withstand being smushed against whoever else was on their way to the city. He helped the time pass with some music, only popping in one earbud to avoid getting completely distracted by his playlist. 

The rest of the thirty minute ride consisted of lyrics swirling around his brain.

 _"After your faith has let you down,_ _I know you'll want to run around, a_ _nd follow the crowd into the night, b_ _ut after the disco al_ _l of the shine just faded away._ _Oh oh oh oh._ _Do what you want._   _Do what you will._ _Don't tell me it's not our time."_

 

His body was lost in the sea of people, but he kept his wits about him and pushed his way through the waves, determined to get out from the stuffy subway station. In less than five minutes Mark was staring at the old campus, eyes tracing the outlines of the old circa 1830s university. He yanked out his earbud and paused the music, looking wistfully at his phone as he noticed  _Way To Go_  was starting up. He sighed, shoving his phone into his back pocket before walking towards the guidance center. The University of Maptwood was on Christmas break as well, but it was a lot more lively than his own college. It seemed more students decided not to travel back home for the holiday. Mark stared down at his shoes as he continued forwards, arms swinging forwards and backwards at his sides.  _  
_

 

They clashed together like two bullets shot from opposing sides, hitting only each other. He groaned, opening his eyes to find himself on the concrete of the campus, back flat on the ground. He could only pray that the impact didn't bust his phone. 

_**"...got nothing to prove. Your social guides give you swollen eyes..."**  _

Mark scrambled to his feet, bending down to lend a hand to held the other boy up. A frown slipped onto his face as the other sat up, eyes slowly opening to reveal deep brown eyes. He just pushed himself to his feet, not accepting Mark's help. Mark withdrew his hand and let it flop to his side, a sheepish look glazing over his face. "Uh, I'm really sorry. I wasn't paying attention." He admitted, offering a smile to the other student he had collided with. His wide eyes focused on the other, flickering up and down his body. The wavy haired boy was slightly shorter than him and donned the apparel of light wash ripped jeans -- a strange choice for the season, but okay -- and an oversized hoodie. He had to be freezing. When he only received a slight smile and a "I know." in reply, Mark introduced himself, bowing his head. The boy just snorted. Snorted in his face and placed his left earbud back in his ear, the music still pouring out loudly from the right.

**_"...don't conform what you were born into then you run the other wa-"_ **

"Donghyuck." He replied finally, bowing stiffly. He must've hit his head pretty hard on the ground because a small scowl was on his lips when he brought his head back up, and a cloud poured from his mouth, his warm breath mixing with the cold air. 

**_"...Well that rat-race, ladder climbing, fake-face smiles got nothing on me..."_ **

"Mark Lee, huh?" Donghyuck questioned repeating Mark's name after pausing his music. "You're the nerd everyone's talking about..."  _  
_

Mark was slightly taken aback, brows furrowing. He shifted his weight from one leg to the other, casting his gaze elsewhere. Anywhere else other than Donghyuck's grinning face.

"Nerd?" He repeated, mentally kicking himself in the ass. Really? That's what his mouth allowed him to say? He wanted to know if people were really talking about him and for what reason, but all he could muster out was "nerd?" Wow. Pathetic, really.

Donghyuck was laughing again, but instead of it being a short snort, it was a cluster of giggles, his mouth wide open as the sounds flowed out. It was almost musical...

"No, I'm just fucking around with you, shits and giggles, y'know? I've never heard of your name before." Donghyuck breathed, twiddling absentmindedly with his right earbud. He looked Mark up and down, which brought a nervous twinge to his stomach. Almost as if he could feel the anxiousness radiating off of Mark, Donghyuck's face softened, eyes kind. 

"Relax, I'm not gonna mug you or anything, I don't mug pretty boys."

This only made Mark more nervous, because it implied that Donghyuck did indeed mug boys that he deemed unpretty, which was not even a thought in his mind before, but now it was. A faint blush settled over his cheeks, either from the cold or the fact that the random boy standing across from him just called him pretty. Being that his body was already adjusted to the cold air from being in it for over twenty minutes, it was likely the offhanded compliment. "... I- okay... I- I'm gotta go, I gotta go." 

And he fled the scene, leaving the guy known as Donghyuck standing alone, eyes following after the silhouette of Mark Lee. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!!! uwu  
> please leave any feedback, it would be very useful for upcoming chapters :)!
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	4. What's up, honey?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donghyuck trusts Mark to take him back to his apartment and not to the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning!!! There is violence and homophobic slurs in this chapter.
> 
> Hope everyone enjoys the first part of angst! Please comment any questions or anything, I'm happy to interact with any readers!

Donghyuck woke up at precisely 8:24 am, the morning sun filtering through his windows and blinds to harass him out of bed. With a loud, over-the-top groan, he lifted himself into a sitting position, his legs sliding closer to his stomach and his arms propped behind him for support. He let his head flop over to his shoulder, a loud crack sounding from the opposite side of his neck. He repeated the action to and fro a few times, finally satisfied with the few cracks and pops he heard. Yanking his phone out from under his numerous pillows, he brought it up to his face, bringing a smaller pillow along with it. Letting the pillow fall in between his legs, he wrapped his arms around it, twisting his body to the side and falling back into his bed, cuddling with the pillow. It was basically a ritual for him to cuddle up with a pillow that he wished was a person and check up on social media. He searched through missed notifications and texts, not really paying mind to much of it. Mostly, it was updates from his peers on Instagram and Snapchat, posting pictures with their families and videos of them decorating their Christmas trees.

He wished he could say they were updates from his friends, but in truth, he didn't have any friends anymore. Not since three months ago when he was outed. It was really a surprise that some of the people didn't block him.

He looked around his room, eyes glazing over as he stared at the half-packed moving boxes, his bare walls, and cluttered desk. One more week was all he had left. 

Donghyuck sent out a silent thanks to whatever higher being that was willing to listen. A thanks that his roommate was a little more considerate than others, and a lot kinder.

His roommate, Xu Minghao, was away for the holiday, spending time with his family in Haicheng. With that, Donghyuck was left alone in their two-bedroom apartment for almost a month. He felt guilty for staying that long though, being that he wasn't paying the bills anymore, so he was planning to only stay another week before moving into his new dorm. Fortunately, he had snagged a last-minute scholarship from a nearby university and was able to negotiate his way into a two-person dorm. He didn't really need to switch colleges, and was a little hesitant at doing so, but he realized it would make things a lot easier and lift a huge burden off from Minghao's shoulders. After all, the ridicule Donghyuck endured was being pressed to his roommate as well, now that people knew Minghao didn't mind Donghyuck's sexuality, or more so didn't care to join in on the prosecuting of the boy. He guessed it was because Minghao has witnessed Donghyuck break down in the privacy of their apartment, and took pity on him, maybe he had a soft spot for him. Not a big enough soft spot, though. Not when he presented Donghyuck with the moving boxes, telling him he wanted him out by the time he returned from Haicheng.

Wishing to go back in time to his childhood, Donghyuck delved into his fading memories. His eyes watered, but he just told himself it was from the dust swirling around his room getting into his eyes. Despite many pleasant memories, like cooking with his mother and riding bikes down the impossibly tall and long mountainside with his long gone friends, a miserable recollection slithered its way to the front of his thoughts.

 

He had only wanted to know what it was like to kiss someone. He didn't know it was bad. 

Donghyuck was only fifteen at the time, and was desperate for his first kiss. He'd always imagined it'd be with his best friend and secret crush, Boo Seungkwan, and it was. Admittedly, Seungkwan was a little tipsy at the time and probably didn't actually reciprocate Donghyuck's feelings, but he supposed the sexual tension between the two fueled him to kiss him. Seungkwan had come to Donghyuck's house that night, tears in his eyes and hiccups in his throat. He had too much to drink and was too scared to return home to face his parents, so Donghyuck offered to let him stay over for the night. They sneaked back into the younger's room and Donghyuck couldn't help but interrogate his friend as to why he was drunk on a school night. Some idiot seniors he was hanging out with supposedly gave him vodka in a water bottle and told him it was just mixed with an energy drink. Perhaps Seungkwan was dumber than most thought. They stayed up for hours just talking, Donghyuck letting Seungkwan cry into his shoulder as he admitted his regrets.

It was 12:52 am when they kissed.

It was 12:56 am when Seungkwan had pushed Donghyuck against his bedroom wall, deepening the kiss.

It was 12:59 am when Donghyuck's father walked in on them, woken up by the commotion. 

And it was 1:11 am when Donghyuck was being scolded by his father, Seungkwan long gone after he had fled by climbing out Donghyuck's window, tears in his own eyes. It made Donghyuck infuriated, Seungkwan had no reason to cry. He wasn't the one being called a faggot by his own father, having to apologize endlessly as his mother just watched from afar, a sympathetic look in her eyes. 

After that, he and Seungkwan pretended things never happened, but they never hung out at Donghyuck's house again. He convinced his father he wasn't gay and that it was just a terrible mistake, but he knew that bringing his friend over again would set his father off on a tangent. 

 

"Fuck." He managed to gasp out the word, throwing his phone onto the ground and messily drying his tear-ridden face on his pillow. It was only 8:49 am and he was already a complete mess.

 

Being one of the only students in is grade left on campus as everyone else was visiting their homes, Donghyuck was able to go out to campus and use the 24/7 open library without having to hide his face and swallow his tongue as obscenities were thrown at him. Thankfully, he found out that the seniors were the only ones still on campus, and they never bothered him, though he noticed some strange looks from them. Once, a long time ago, he didn't live like that. A long time ago, he was friends with practically every student. A long time ago, he had another secret in his vault. 

He threw on his light-wash, ripped skinny jeans and an oversized green hoodie, his black Northface backpack slung lazily over his shoulder. He knew he would be cold, but fashion had its downsides, and dressing how he wanted was one of the only joys he had left in his life. He stuffed his textbooks, folders, and pencils into the backpack, heading out for the day. Waving goodbye to the worker at the front desk of his apartment complex, Donghyuck headed to the nearest convenience store, grabbing an almond milk and a triangle kimbap. Rushing out of the store as soon as he paid, the copper hue haired student rushed to the University of Maptwood library, wolfing down his kimbap in a matter of seconds. He rinsed it down with his almond milk, stuffing the wrapper and empty carton into the side pocket of his backpack, too lazy to search for a garbage can. He entered the library, almost frightened but the immediate sense of loneliness that flooded his senses. It was completely empty, even the librarian wasn't there. He assumed she was in the back, which settled his anxiousness. After all, the library wouldn't be open if she wasn't there. It was a 24/7 library, but since it was the holidays the librarian was granted the liberty of setting her own hours. Donghyuck let out a deep sigh, settling into a cushioned seat with his bag on his lap. After a moment of silence, he dived into his work, scanning through the various court cases he was to study. Slipping in his earbuds, music rushed into his ears, helping him to focus on his work. 

_"Sometimes life it takes you by the hand, it puts you down before you know it, it's gone and you're dead again. I've been in places and I won't pretend that I make it I just fall on my head. When it's strange to take a walk downstairs, sweep you all up on a corner and pay for my bread. You know that I cannot believe my own truth, to show what a truth, it's got nothing to lose..."_

 

It was 1:22 pm and Donghyuck had gotten through two of the court cases and a few chapters of his Law and Justice textbook when he was approached by the librarian, a worn-out smile on her face. "I'm closing down for today, you're the only one in here, so I hope this isn't a hassle for you..." she trailed off, hoping Donghyuck would get the idea. "Ah, it's okay. Enjoy your day." He replied with a worn-out smile of his own, pausing his music quickly. After cleaning up his space, he left the comfort of the library, waving farewell to the librarian, pity filling his heart as he realized he could see the bags under her eyes even from such a distance away. Perhaps he should visit the library less on those late nights...

Donghyuck braced himself for the cold air to grip around his body, hoping his music would distract him from the discomfort. It did, a little bit, because happiness swirled through his body as  _Call It What You Want_  started playing. He felt his body collide with another, his head soon hitting the cold, wet concrete. His ears rang, and not from the volume of his music. He pushed himself to his knees, eventually making his way to his feet when he noticed a stranger standing next to him. He couldn't really make out what the guy was saying, but he looked sincere in what Donghyuck assumed was his apology, which made it clear that he did not attend the University of Maptwood, because no one was sincerely kind and apologetic to Donghyuck anymore. He smiled in return, muttering an acceptance of the apology before letting his hand slide down the side of his right leg, retrieving the end of his earbuds as the guy he ran into introduced himself.

Now, being that Donghyuck mostly kept to himself and wasn't truly able to converse with people and make jokes, he was a bit rusty. That didn't stop him, though, and he repeated the name, calling the guy a nerd. His joke wasn't well received, unfortunately, and he had to clear it up. "No, I'm just fucking around with you, shits and giggles, y'know? I've never heard your name before." He admitted, taking in Mark's features. Handsome, slightly toned build. Cute, above all else, because he somehow resembled a baby lion. He could sense the nervousness of Mark and scrambled for something funny to say, realizing his eyes slipping up and down the other's body was surely a little intimidating.

"Relax, I'm not gonna mug you or anything, I don't mug pretty boys." Donghyuck thought the joke was perfect, a little bit of flirting and reassurance that he wasn't a thief. What more could a sentence consist of? He hadn't really talked to anyone other than Minghao in months and he was desperate for human interaction, so he really did think he would earn a positive response, maybe even a friend. It seemed Mark didn't like that joke either, because he was sputtering and racing off to the Student Information Center, which confirmed Donghyuck's suspicion that he wasn't a student at Maptwood, because everyone knew the SIC was closed during the holiday and useless even when it was open. He waited in the same spot for the kid to backtrack and ask for help, but when the guy known as Mark realized the Center wasn't open and started back towards Donghyuck, he froze, seeing Donghyuck standing there idly with his gaze fixed on him. "God, this guy really is awkward." He mumbled to himself, pocketing his phone and earbuds before strolling towards Mark.

"You don't go here, do you?" Donghyuck questioned, peering at Mark

"No, they offered me a scholarship and a tour, so I thought why not..." He watched Mark shyly admit, adjusting his jacket. 

"And when was this offered? Because Maptwood has been on break for a good sixteen weeks." Donghyuck laughed, hoping to come off more friendly than before. He got a small laugh from Mark in response, a rosy hue ghosting his cheeks as he was probably realizing his mistake. "I could give you a tour, though. It'd suck if you came out here for no reason, Mark."

Mark looked at Donghyuck with a questioning look, unsure. Could he trust this guy? Fuck it, why not? He seemed nice enough, and he did say he wouldn't mug him because he thought he was pretty. Somehow that thought made him more nervous than the thought of being mugged did, but he accepted the offer anyway.

"Ah, I'm glad. I don't really want to head back to my apartment this early." Donghyuck flashed a grin, leading the way.

"You have an apartment? You don't dorm?" Mark asked, suddenly curious in Donghyuck. He shrugged at Mark, "It was overall a less expensive way to go since I have a roommate."

They settled into a silence after that, the only words being spoken was when Donghyuck announced where they were on campus, dramatically describing every building and field. He felt a little ridiculous in doing so since he was so used to staying quiet. He had really lost his personality until now. He appreciated the laughs that flowed out from Mark, realizing how much he missed making his own friends laugh. He tore his gaze from Mark, strolling away to the next building. 

"And these are our college courts, where-" his speech was cut short as he noticed some all too familiar faces. "You've got to be shitting me." Donghyuck felt like cursing the whole universe. The one day he found someone to talk to and the assholes who turned his life to shit just had to show up. He turned around, facing a wide-eyed Mark. "I think its time I take my leave, sorry. You'll have to come back another time..." He trailed off, risking a glance over his shoulder. Sure enough, they were still heading towards him, malice clear on their faces. 

"Hey, faggot, how've you been?" Mingyu shouted at him, waving to him like they were old friends. The rest of his little gang snickered to each other, though Wendy shot Donghyuck an apologetic look. She was always a bit kinder than the others.

Donghyuck turned back to Mark, his hands balled into fists. "Excuse me for a moment. You can leave if you want, I suggest you do." It was clear he wouldn't be able to escape them this time.

With that, he turned back, letting his backpack drop to the ground. "Hey, Mingyu, what's up  _honey?_ " He hissed out the words, knowing the pet-name would make his torturers uncomfortable. The rest was really just a blur, slurs and insults being thrown around. He was left with bruises on the bridge of his nose from the punches thrown by Joshua, the guy who always like to take the confrontations to a violent level. Donghyuck had become quite good and experienced at fighting, though, and his knuckles were left bloody and blackened by the end. He had been shoved to the wall, his spine crushed against the building behind him. He managed to throw Joshua off from himself, knocking the boy to the ground. In no time at all, he was in a choke-hold by Mingyu, who seemed to enjoy helping out in the violence. He could hear Wendy yelling for them to stop and knock it off before someone else saw. Joshua was back on his feet, throwing punches at Donghyuck's stomach before being pushed away by Wendy, her screeches ringing through his ears. Mingyu released Donghyuck from his hold, letting him fall to the ground for the second time that day. 

"You're lucky this time, twink. I'll finish you next time." The threat was accompanied by two middle fingers, the three assholes fleeing the scene. 

Before he could comprehend what damage was done to his body, Mark was kneeling beside him, wiping the blood away from Donghyuck's face with his sleeve. Donghyuck coughed, spitting out blood to the side, not wanting to get Mark all bloody. He could hear the guy gushing out concerns, examining his bruised face.

"Its fine, I'm used to it." He sputtered, pushing Mark's hand away from his face. Pushing himself to his feet, Donghyuck swayed back and forth a bit before steadying himself, using the hood of his sweatshirt to wipe his face. "So, as I was saying, these are the college courts, where mock trials take place. I, myself, am part of these trials. I'm a good attorney, I think I look hot in suits..." He trailed off, swaying forwards. He could hear Mark worrying over him again, saying something about a hospital. 

"Uh, no way, man. I don't have health insurance. Psh, imagine if I went to the hospital everytime this happened. I would be in more debt than I am from college." 

"You're saying this happens often?" Mark gasped, taking Donghyuck's arm and placing it over his shoulders, supporting him as best he could. 

"Hah, yeah. Maybe I deserve it." Donghyuck mumbled, the words jumbling together. "I live in the Academy Gardens Apartments, number 433, please take me there. You can leave after that because I won't be awake for a while." That was all he managed to say before blacking out, leaving Mark to drag his body back to his apartment. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the fight scene was poorly written, its my first time writing a scene like that.  
> Anyways, i hope anyone reading enjoyed this chapter.
> 
> As said before, I'd love to answer any comments, so don't be afraid to comment!


	5. update!

This fic is going to be a series that includes all of the NCT members and will go off of pairs (ships) but that may change depending how the story goes and some ships won't be included, but every member will be and they will have their own story.

Since Light Bugs is obviously about Mark and Donghyuck, it won't focus on any other members (except a certain boyo for some angst ;) )

So this chapter is just a short update, the actual next chapter will hopefully be posted later tonight!


	6. Heaven?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donghyuck assumes he's been let into heaven.
> 
> Mark finds out why Donghyuck was almost beaten to death and the reason doesn't sit too well with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!! Sorry if this chapter is a little rubbish, the next chapter will be much better, I swear!  
>  I hope anyone reading enjoys this!

Mark hated himself. Truly. He was pathetic.

The two guys had Donghyuck flanked in a matter of seconds, hurling obscenities at him before hurling their fists. Mark could only watch alongside the girl that had accompanied them. Blood was already splattered across Donghyuck's face, he could almost feel the pain radiating off from him. He was smaller than the others, but he held his own in the fight. Mark froze in place as he watched Donghyuck recoil from the punch to his jaw, a tired look on his face as he swung back, managing to connect his fist with the stomach of the one called Mingyu. He dodged the next couple of hits, but his luck ran out as he was thrown against the wall of the college courts. A sickening crack sounded from the boy's back. Mark could see he was dazed, his nerves probably in a frenzy. 

He just watched with wide eyes, mouth agape as he fought against his overwhelming want to run away. The situation had him frozen in spot, his fight or flight reaction clearly malfunctioning as all he could do was watch. He didn't help Donghyuck. "Wh-what, why- Why are the doing this to him?" He managed to croak out, his mouth and throat suddenly dry. The girl only shook her head, tears welling in her eyes as she shrugged. "They're ignorant, that's why." 

The response only confused him further, but he didn't want to ask anymore questions. He felt sick. He knew he would puke if he tried to push any words out.

Donghyuck had managed to push the other off from him, breaking free from being pinned against the building. He looked weary, stumbling to swing at the guy again before being placed in a chokehold by Mingyu. Blood pooled around his lips as he was beaten in the stomach. The sound of knuckles pounding into his scrawny frame were appalling to Mark. The girl rushed to the boys, pushing them away from Donghyuck, screeching as she begged them to stop. They eventually complied, throwing Donghyuck to the ground like rubbish. Mark watched them run, blinking rapidly as he realized they would never get confronted about it, they would never get punished for practically trying to murder a peer. 

He rushed to Donghyuck's side, his heart sinking as he didn't recognize the face before him at all. Mark had only met him a few hours ago, but he was sure he would never forget is face. He had bright brown eyes. They were actually a very dark brown, but there was a brightness to them. He had numerous moles scattered on his neck and face and arms and now he only had blood. His smile was more radiant than the sun, it basically imprinted itself in Mark's brain. But now, he felt he would never see it again. Wiping the blood from Donghyuck's face, he peered intently at the beaten kid. Donghyuck coughed out blood, eyes flickering open and close a few times. His pupils were shaking as he tried to focus on Mark's face, and Mark couldn't help but fret over him, rushing out question after question. He sat back as Donghyuck shook the concerns away, getting to his feet. Mark felt something warm sliding down his cheeks and wondered if he had gotten blood on himself somehow. It took a few moments for him to realize he was crying.

What the fuck just happened.

He jolted to his feet as he realized Donghyuck was already up and swaying around, continuing on with his tour as if nothing happened, like he was used to it. He saw his lips moving but all that came out were mumbles. 

"Let me take you to the hospital, you need to get medical attention. Your ribs could be broken, and your nose... I heard a crack come from your back..." Mark pulled out his phone, searching directions to the nearest hospital or emergency clinic. The voice of Donghyuck stopped him. It was fragile and quiet, but it was his voice. He could only nod as he listened. No health insurance. Something about it happening every time... It dawned on Mark that Donghyuck truly was used to it, because it wasn't the first time. He took the other's arm and wrapped it over his shoulder, letting Donghyuck place all his weight onto him. He needed support. 

 

Hurried steps pitter-patted against the concrete of the streets, a trail of blood showing the trail Mark took as he carried Donghyuck to his apartment complex. Number 433, Academy Gardens Apartments. 433, Academy Gardens Apartments, 433... 

Mark shoved his way past a crowd that was forming outside a restaurant, ignoring the stares that followed after him. 

He burst into the apartment complex, looking around in a dazed fashion for the elevators. His heavy breathing must have alerted the front desk worker, because she was at his side in a moment, taking Donghyuck's other arm and slinging it around her shoulders. 

"Fucking christ, its never been this bad before. He usually finds his way back himself." She choked out, voice heavy with worry. They made their way to the elevator. He heard the girl shouting something over her shoulder to the other girl behind the desk. Mark could feel his head pounding and his heart breaking. Did none of his peers ever help Donghyuck? They just let him drag himself back? What kind of sick mindset... He was dragged out of his thoughts by the ding of the elevators, and the girl tapping on his side, announcing that they arrived to the fourth floor. They spilled out of the elevator, the girl rushing them to a door that read 433 in large silver numbering. She shook the handle furiously, looking to Mark with wide eyes as she asked something about keys. It took him a moment to register what she wanted and he realized he had Donghyuck's backpack in his left hand. Shakily, he slipped his fingers into the smallest pocket in search for keys. He threw them at the girl, knowing his hands weren't steady enough to unlock the door. The lights winked on and they navigated to the back bedroom, placing Donghyuck's limp body on the bed.

They both stood there, stunned and unsure of what to do. The girl snapped out of her haze before Mark did and was ordering him to go to the desk by the window where gauze wrap and saline were situated, which only made Mark's heart ache more when he saw the supplies were running low. It really did occur often. 

She cleaned the wounds in only a few minutes, 'tsking' as she examined the bruising around his face. Bandaging his still leaking cuts, she moved onto his arms and hands, her face falling as she stared at the bruising. "I guess he's really learning to fight back..."

Mark sat down on the bed, his head hovering over Donghyuck's body. Why did this happen, and why did it happen so often? He turned towards the woman who was taking care of Donghyuck, brows furrowed. "Um, I'm Mark," he held bowed his head slightly, his gaze switching from Donghyuck to the girl. She was now wrapping his hands in gauze, mumbling something about ice before looking at Mark. "Yeri. I just work at the front desk, but Donghyuck would come to his apartment like this so often that I offered to help him. He doesn't know how to clean wounds properly." She stood up abruptly, wandering out of the room and into the kitchen where Mark assumed she was retrieving ice. When she returned with numerous ice packs, frozen peas, and saran wrap, she looked at Mark with a stone-like impression, eyes grim as she opened her mouth. "Who did it this time? Was it Mingyu? I told that fucker I would snap his neck if he ever tried something like this again. Was Wendy with him? She's so pathetic, I can't believe she just stands by when all this happens! For fucks sake, did their parents raise them with no dignity? If I ever see-" Yeri stopped herself when she noticed Donghyuck shifting, a soft groan falling from his mouth. 

"Hey, Ye- Hey Yeri. Did you miss me?" Donghyuck merely whimpered out the words, but kept the grin on his face. He couldn't bare to see the worry on her face like that. He didn't deserve her concern and didn't want her pity. He tried to sit up, but a firm hand placed on his shoulder kept him down, his body flush with his many pillows. Mark stared at Donghyuck, telling him to relax. Donghyuck couldn't hear, though. His ears were ringing and he swore he saw a glowing ring around Mark's face. 

"So, this is was heaven is like? I didn't think I'd be allowed in." His words came out in a slur, but somehow Yeri managed to understand and stifled a laugh. Mark turned to her in confusion and she simply waved her hand, telling him not to worry about it. He turned back to Donghyuck, ice pack in hand. "Press this to your nose, its swollen." 

After another hour or so, Donghyuck had ice wrapped around his exposed stomach, (which was incredibly sunken in, and that worried Mark) his arms, and back. His shins were bleeding still, but he swore they didn't hurt. Regardless, after Yeri wrapped them in a thin layer of gauze, Mark was quick to secure frozen bags of peas to them with the saran wrap. That was the best they could do because Donghyuck kept moving his hands around to stare at the bruises so much that they just gave up on trying to make him ice them.

After Donghyuck confirmed that it was indeed Mingyu and Joshua who he fought with, and that Wendy watched from the sidelines, Yeri was just a ball of fury. The bleach blonde haired girl threw out cusses, threatening to put the thugs -- as she called them -- in the hospital. Her face finally softened when she saw Donghyuck shaking his head, pleading her to calm down. "I don't want you getting hurt. Adding more violence to it isn't gonna make them stop. Its fine really, I'm really getting used to it. I think my knuckles will be micro-fractured enough that I won't feel pain when I hit back." Mark was about to point out that he just said he didn't want to add violence and yet he was talking about fighting back, but he just kept quiet. Yeri said he goodbyes to the two before Mark walked her to the door, the both of them thanking each other for helping. Just as she turned and walked out the door, he grabbed her wrist.

"Please, I saw the girl's face, Wendy, I mean. She was crying, I don't think she wanted them to hurt Donghyuck, and she made them stop." Yeri only stared back at Mark, a scowl on her face. "If she didn't want Donghyuck to get hurt then she would've kept her mouth shut. Even if they found out some other way, she should've stopped them before the violence started." With that, Mark was alone in room 433 at Academy Gardens Apartments with a boy he barely knew. Wait, if they found out what? What was it that got Donghyuck into so much trouble with them?

Mark found himself back in what he assumed was Donghyuck's room, but he couldn't be sure. It was filled with moving boxes, the messy bed was the only indication that someone lived in the room. It was strange, though. Was he just moving in this far into the year? But Yeri seemed to know Donghyuck well and knew her way around the apartment. Was he moving out?

 

After Yeri left, Donghyuck had been staring at his wall for twenty minutes with Mark sitting on the edge of his bed. He was chewing on his bottom lip as he waited for the bruised boy to speak. He didn't want to ask and intrude, so he just hoped he would be told what why that happened.

"You stayed." The words surprised Mark, causing him to bite down on his lip slightly harder than he wanted to. "Ah, yeah. You passed out, I couldn't leave not knowing if you were okay." Donghyuck nodded, but there was still a question on the tip of his tongue. "But you're still here. I'm awake and fine now, you don't have to stay. We barely know each other." Donghyuck looked exhausted and the words kinda just spilled out of his mouth.

Mark moved closer to him. "Why did they hurt you?"

A chuckle sounded from Donghyuck's lips and he turned his head to look at Mark. "If you don't want to talk to me and just leave after I tell you, I understand." A long pause of silence followed the sentence and Mark could only shake his head, bottom lip jutting out slightly as if he head the most ridiculous statement of the year. "I doubt anything you've done would be bad enough for me to leave." He just needed to know. It wasn't like Mark to be so nosy and interested in others, but after witnessing a person get the shit beaten out of them and then rebound so quickly because it happened often enough for him to be fine with it, it was enough for Mark to focus all his attention on the matter.

"I didn't think it was bad either, but everyone says I'm disgusting. There's something terribly wrong with me, but I feel like it should be okay. It's not, though." This statement from Donghyuck had Mark worried. Was he a peeping tom or something? He doubted it, no way this guy could do that. 

"You see, the thing is..." he paused when he looked at Mark, uncertainty wavering through his eyes. Mark only stared back expectantly and Donghyuck realized it was only fair to tell Mark, he did drag him back to his apartment and dress his wounds, which was the kindest treatment he had received in a while. He only hesitated because he didn't want to be left alone at that moment. If he told Mark and then he left, Donghyuck would suffer without any comfort. That was how it always was though, so he didn't know why he left such a need for attention.

"I'm gay. And I kept it to myself for my whole life. No one knew, my family still doesn't. Maybe they do, I wouldn't know if they did or not. My father walked in on my best friend and I kissing when I was younger. I didn't know anything about how bad being gay was, but my father's reaction was enough for me to hid it." He sighed, lifting his hand tentatively to his nose to shift the ice pack. Mark was silent, but at least he didn't look disgusted. "I, uh, my... I met a professor at this college, he quit because of me. But we had a thing, I suppose. Wendy walked in on us making out and told the whole school. I don't think she meant for any of this to happen... it just did. You never really know how people truly feel about these things until it comes out that someone you called your friend is like that." Donghyuck just let the words flow out, not bothering to make sure the sentences were coherent.

Mark nodded, just staring at the floor. His chest was aching. He had gay friends, but they were never treated like this. He never thought anyone would care if you kissed the same gender. Of course, he would never do that. It was weird and kinda gross. Mark knew he didn't actually feel that way, but whenever the subject came up those feelings would always wrap around him.

Donghyuck had gone silent, his eyes shut tightly as he waited for the spit in his face and the slurs to ring through his ears. None of that ever came, though. Only a light hand on his knee.

Mark's eyes were red, almost like he was holding back tears. "Its okay. Being gay isn't bad, its not like you can help it." That was all he could manage to say as his mind became so cluttered with thoughts. As Donghyuck let a small smile slip onto his face, Mark's mind slowed down. Too bright.

 

After that, they just sat in silence, Mark trying to calm his buzzing brain. He had managed to feed Donghyuck some soup after raiding his whole kitchen for twenty minutes. He couldn't chew anything with his swollen jaw and it was the only option. Mark just sat on the floor below Donghyuck's bed, listening to him breathe softly. He thought he had fallen asleep until he heard him sigh. "Mm, you were being so quiet I thought you were asleep. Do you feel okay?" Mark kneeled besides Donghyuck, head tilted to the side as he awaited a response. 

"I'm good, just trying to focus on not pissing my pants."  _Shit._  Mark's eyes widened as he scrambled to check the time on his phone, mouth falling open as he saw it was 3:12 am. They had arrived at the apartment around 3:00 pm. "Holy shit, you haven't gone to the bathroom in  _twelve hours_  and I made you eat soup! Is your bladder made of steel or something, oh my god." Donghyuck wheezed out a laugh before his face fell, eyes wide.

"Please help me up, I really might've just pissed myself."

Helping Donghyuck to unzip his pants was an awkward situation, but luckily he pushed Mark out, saying he could do the rest and to just get him some new clothes. Wearing blood soaked jeans and a lightweight hoodie in the winter season was not an ideal situation. Mark scolded him for dressing like that in the first place. Coming back with a fresh pair of grey sweatpants and a foreign university sweater, Mark helped Donghyuck to get dressed. He secretly sneaked away to soak the old clothes in cold water and detergent before throwing them in the washing machine, telling Donghyuck that he was jus going to use the bathroom himself after he situated the boy back on his bed. When he returned, Donghyuck was passed out, a pillow squished to his chest as he hugged it while sleeping. Mark couldn't help but think it was endearing in a 'I just got my ass beat for being gay and almost pissed myself after being fed soup by a man I barely knew while sitting in my bed for twelve hours, but at least I can sleep like the cute motherfucker I am' kind of way. The last part of his thought caught him off guard and made his mind buzz again, a heavy feeling filling his stomach. He used to get the same feeling when he looked at Renjun when they were juniors in high school, but he never knew why. (Yes he did, but he never let the epiphany come round full circle.)

 

Mark didn't sleep that night, he just sat on the floor of Donghyuck's room, waiting for the sun to rise. It was around 11 am when Donghyuck sat up, crying out in pain as he finally felt the full extent of his wounds. Mark sat on his bed with him then, sifting a hand through the other's hair in attempt to relax him. 

"Are you moving out?" He asked, trying to distract Donghyuck from the pain. 

"Kind of," he winced as Mark shifted, "Kicked out, sorta. My whole situation is kinda being pushed onto my roommate and its not really fair for me to stay. I'm transferring to a new college, though, so I'll be okay. As long as my shit doesn't follow me there." Mark nodded, watching Donghyuck's face morph from pain-stricken to mild discomfort. He needed to keep him talking.

"What college?"

"Teppeck Cross University." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More drama to ensue ;)
> 
> Please ask any questions and leave any comments you want to, I'm more than happy to answer and read them!


	7. Stupid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donghyuck tries to keep himself from getting too comfortable, but can't quite pull himself away from Mark's attention.
> 
> Mark finds himself caring for Donghyuck, and doesn't mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH!! sorry for not updating in so long!  
> It took me three days to write this, so I hope its good and you guys enjoy! Please leave a comment telling me what you think!

Donghyuck shifted in and out of consciousness throughout the night, the pain finally sinking into his skin. He was no longer numb, the packs of ice melted and discarded to the foot of his bed. He was sweating, but he couldn't manage to pull his duvet cover away. Tears welled in his eyes, eventually spilling to his cheeks as he shifted his head. His head was spinning and he felt hypersensitive to everything around him. The softened sounds of cars outside his window driving through the streets in the early hours sounded like they were coming straight towards him. He was about to be run over. The way his sweatpant leg bunched around his ankle bothered him beyond belief and he tried to shift it down with his other foot, but it wouldn't budge. He could sense the body of another on his bedroom floor, twiddling their thumbs as they stared at his ceiling.

Mark Lee.

The fact that Mark was still there brought a warm wave over his body, but not an uncomfortable one. It made him feel safe. 

He lulled back asleep, holding the pillow a little looser to his body. 

 

A scream erupted from his mouth before he could register the reason why. He sat up and suddenly his body flared to life, pulsating and aching with every breath he took. His breathing was shallow and it felt like his chest was being crushed in, like his ribs were poking at his lungs. Donghyuck's senses were overbearing, he could practically taste the pain. He hadn't even noticed Mark was besides him until he felt a hand in his hair, long fingers combing the tendrils. He turned to lean his face into Mark's chest, melting into the touch. 

He was assaulted frequently and he always imagined he would get used to the morning after, but he never did. It was always the same, wake up and scream and sob for hours on end. This time, though, it was different. He had Mark.

Mark asked him if he was moving out, and it took Donghyuck a while to choke the words out, but he explained how he was being kicked out. It was okay, though. He would be transferring to a new college where hopefully no one knew him, a college where no one would fracture his ribs. 

"What college?"

"Teppeck Cross University."

Mark fell silent after that and his hand stopped mid-way through Donghyuck's mousy hair, a pitiful whine from the boy bringing him back to the present and out of his mind.

Donghyuck shifted so he could stare up at Mark, ignoring the dull ache of his neck and the creaking noise he heard from it. "What is it? Is it a bad college? They gave me a scholarship and a dorm, so I can't be kicked out... I don't think so, anyways." He rambled, hoping Mark wouldn't tell him some dreadful piece of information, like that Teppeck Cross was filled with homophobes, or that it was managed poorly. The University of Maptwood wasn't number one in Korea, but it was up there. He couldn't bear to downgrade, not at a time like this. He needed something good in his life. He needed normalcy. He needed to know his future was secure; he yearned for a method to the madness around him. 

Mark hummed, his fingers resuming their positions in Donghyuck's hair. "That's the college I attend, actually." 

Donghyuck blinked, taking in the information. He hadn't expected to ever see Mark again after this, he hadn't even expected to see him in the morning. Guilt suddenly raked through his body. Mark felt like he needed to take care of him now, didn't he?

Donghyuck was always fragile, overly sensitive. It was always easy for those around him to infer how he was feeling, he was often told he wore his heart on his sleeve. Assuming that was the reason why he was subjected to the cruelty of his peers, he began to build up his walls. He listened to his heart more than his brain and it was ruining his life –– it already ruined his life. The only hope he had left was to pretend he never existed until next week. 

More importantly, he didn't want to become dependent on others or get too comfortable. He'd let it happen to him so many times in the past, he couldn't let it happen again. He always put so much trust into others, he always believed they'd be there for him. He scoffed, thinking of where that got him. 

Mark peered down at Donghyuck, his hand flinching away from the others hair as he heard him scoff, confusion sinking into his searching eyes. "What's wrong? Did you feel a new pain?"

"You should go back to your dorm, it's not fair for me to keep you here when I can't even act as a good server to you as a guest." Donghyuck had intended for his words to be colder, to sound less concerned. It was true, however, he hadn't made anything for Mark to eat, not that there was anything in the kitchen to make -- Mark was only there to tend to him and his wounds, he couldn't let it go on much longer. He caught Mark's gaze, staring into his brown eyes. He felt too vulnerable, but maybe that was his own fault. He hadn't been given positive attention in so long that he was finding his subconscious craving it without his own consent. He even disappointed himself.

"I don't mind. You got your ass beat and beat some ass yourself, you deserve a little care without having to act as a host." Mark replied, pushing himself off the bed and leaving Donghyuck cold and alone. Except, he was still right there, just gathering the leaking ice packs in his hands with mild discomfort painting his face as the softened gel packets mushed around his palms. Donghyuck watched him retreat from his room and to the kitchen, taking the time to push himself off his bed. Bruised flesh sparked with pain, joints creaking and cracking from the sudden movement. Donghyuck bit his tongue, not letting even a dainty yelp escape his lips. Tumbling over his own feet, he managed to reach the door without falling, though he felt like he was. He was sure that all the pressure in the world was being exerted onto his skull. He winced, pulling his sweatshirt off with struggling arms. Shuffling to the cardboard box that held most of his clothing, Donghyuck bent down, a gasp of agony spilling from his lips.

He had fallen to his floor, shoulders hitched up as he used the box as support to sit up. He managed to grab a black hoodie that had a single english word written on it in blue. He thought it said 'carrots' on it, but wasn't sure. He recognized the Champion logo on the sleeve, though, and the downy interior was enough to make him buy it. Mark bursted through the door before as he was slipping his head through the top, wide eyes staring at him on the ground.

"What are you doing? Why are you on the ground?" Donghyuck couldn't help but smile, slowly lifting his tender arms in the air to ask for help getting up.

There he was, being dependent again.

As soon as the other had helped him up, Donghyuck stepped aside, stripping himself of his sweatpants. He heard a small 'oh' from Mark before hearing the door shut, and he could only hope the boy had left the room before undressing his lower half fully. 

Recently, Donghyuck's way of coping was to be as indifferent to what was going around him as possible and to just stifle his actual thoughts. Before any one had known he was gay, he was confident in everything, even though half the time he didn't know what the fuck he was doing. He was exceptionally good at faking it until he made it, so he tried to resume that part of his personality.

It took him a good twenty minutes, a few knocks on the door and some muffled words from Mark before Donghyuck was fully dressed again, wearing the hoodie with a pair of primary colors color-block track pants. He slipped on some old trainers and a white cap before opening the door, walking past Mark and towards his apartment door.

"I have to go run some errands, you can stay here if you want," Donghyuck glanced back at Mark, slipping his lanyard into his pocket, "but you probably have stuff to do, since you stayed at college even during the holiday break." The last part of his sentence sounded more like a question. He opened his door and waited for a response from the other, ignoring the aches in his legs. 

"I... uh, I'm not as busy as I thought I would be. Let me come with you, in case anything happens." Mark looked at Donghyuck hopefully, puppy-eyes in action. It seemed to work, because Donghyuck nodded, quickly averting his gaze back to the hall beyond his door. "I have to pick up some storage items for my dorm, so that might take a while... Ah, I have to drop my last rent payment to my landlord." He limped back to the kitchen, grabbing an envelope from the counter. 

They walked down the hall in silence, shoulders brushing. Exiting the elevator, Donghyuck waved to Yeri, who was behind the counter on the reception phone. She eyed the two of them before pushing the phone into the hand of the girl besides her, rushing towards them. 

"Why do you always have to go out the day after you get beaten? Can you even see out of your right eye? Can you even speak with your swollen jaw? What about your ribs, I know for a fact they're still not completely healed from when they got crushed, what if they crushed another one? Can you breathe alright? God, you're so dumb." The blonde bombarded him with questions, pointing her finger wildly. Mark watched her, wondering the same things. Why were they going out when Donghyuck just woke up an hour ago screaming in pain?

"Yeri, stop. My ribs are fine, I can breathe. I can't see out of my right eye, but look," he shoved Mark forwards, peeking over his shoulder, "I have a guide today. I'll be fine, now go back to your job before Joy kills you." Donghyuck huffed out, though there was no malice in his words. Yeri was the one he could always trust, even if they weren't that close. She glared at them for a while, particularly Mark before swinging around and setting off towards the front desk. "Wait, is Hyori here? I have my last rent payment." Yeri turned back around with an eyeroll, snatching the envelope from his hands. "She meeting with the renovators, I'll give it to her when she gets back." She looked like she wanted to say more, so he waited, staring expectantly at her. "You're just so stupid, paying another months rent for the asshole who's kicking you out." Donghyuck could only attempt to shrug, his shoulders stiffening as he tried, "It's the least I can do." 

Mark waved goodbye to Yeri, "Don't worry, I'll care for him."

 

The two walked down the streets, Donghyuck stiffly forcing his aching body along as Mark positioned himself so that the front of his shoulder touched the back of Donghyuck's, probably in attempt to keep him upright.

"Don't stand so close to me, someone may think you're my boyfriend and someone will attempt murder on the both of us." Donghyuck wheezed out a laugh, cautiously shifting his eyes around him. Mingyu and Joshua never usually came after him twice in a row, but he wasn't sure who else of his hate club were still near Maptwood.

"I don't care."

Donghyuck still shied away from Mark's supporting shoulder, shoving his hands into his pockets after breathing into them in attempt to warm them. Mark was still wearing his same clothes from the other day. "Well I do, if we both get beat up no one will help us back to my apartment, and I don't think you would make it far in a fight." He grinned, whipping his head around to look at Mark. Snorting at the sight of Mark's slightly offended face, he took a sharp turn around the corner.

Truly, he just didn't want Mark to give him too much attention. He would get attached too easily. Maybe he could allow it, since Mark was tolerating him and didn't seem disgusted in him even after he told him he was gay. Couldn't be too sure, though.

"I think I could make it through one fight..." Mark whispered, reassuring himself. 

 

Mark pushed the shopping cart around, Donghyuck resting his head on his shoulder as they made their way through the household-goods store. "I'm not sure what else I need, I've never dormed before." Donghyuck mumbled, eyes fluttering close for a split second. "Do you think I'm over doing it? I don't want my roommate to think I'm a nerd."

"I don't think it'll take him long to figure that out regardless."

"Wow. What happened to caring for me?" Donghyuck lifted his head up, glancing at the shelves around him. "You're bruising my poor ego." He pouted, faking his offense.

"Yeri called you stupid more times than I count, I think I'm allowed one insult." Mark mused, gripping onto Donghyuck's hoodie to pull him closer, helping him avoid a collision with a wandering child. Donghyuck looked up at Mark, their bodies pressed together. He quickly pulled away, forcing his eyes down to stare at his shoes. 

"Better to over do it rather than be unprepared, anyways."

 

They split the bags between each other, no matter how many times Mark had begged Donghyuck to just let him carry them all, he refused. They were making their way to a nearby noodle shop, since Donghyuck insisted the Noodle Flower had the best Tteokguk in Korea. Mark silently begged to differ, since Renjun's Tteokguk existed. Maybe Donghyuck would be able to try it one day.

"What do you major in?" The question had caught Donghyuck off guard as he was taking a seat in the small booth, his bags to the inside. "Crime, Law and Justice, social sciences, all that good stuff." He looked at Mark, trying to get a sense of the person he was. Too genuine.

"What about you? You look like an English major." Mark laughed at this, waving his hand as a 'no.' "I major in Computer Engineering and Computer Sciences." Donghyuck's eyes widened, a wide smile on his face, "And you call me the nerd? You're like... a level 100 nerd." "That's fair enough, it's a pretty nerdy field."

"Do you enjoy it?" He questioned, sipping on his water. He enjoyed learning about his major, but more importantly, he knew he was meant to be a lawyer. His mother always said he had a knack for arguing.

"Not really, but I'm good at it." The answer Mark gave shoved a frown onto Donghyuck's face, a somber look in his eyes. "You shouldn't do something you don't enjoy. You don't want to spend the rest of your life Engineering computers and robots or whatever if it doesn't make you happy." 

The waiter came over before Mark could answer, and Donghyuck slipped into his thoughts. 

 

He was going to be happy in the future, right? 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm leaving for a small vacation on Friday, so I hope to update before then!
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy!!! <3


	8. Nodus Tollens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deep, late night talks.
> 
> Numbness.
> 
> Glossy lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated some of the boys' majors and minors! Go check out chapter 1 to see the changes :)  
> (This fic is only about Markhyuck but includes all the other members so it comes in handy to know lol)

They talked a lot that night. Just them, two boys that barely knew each other, sitting across from one another and calmly ranting about their lives. 

One was the personification of the sun.  _Was._  Now he was dulled down, bruised psychically and emotionally. He yearned to live in the future, where life had the possibility of being enjoyable. Still bright, though; they couldn't take that part away from him. He would make it through it all, but for now, he was the embodiment of Pâro.

The other was boring. Seeking a career he didn't want, making decisions he didn't want to. Avoiding those who shaped his life into the insignificant misery it currently was. He yearned to live in the past, when he was a child and he only worried of his imagination. Impossibly genuine, though; they couldn't take that part away from him. He would make it through it all, but for now, he was the embodiment of Altschmerz.

And for both of them, their lives didn't make much sense at the moment. Eating at a noodle shop as time inched towards a new day. Unimaginably unsure of their lives.

"My life makes no fucking sense." Mark watched as Donghyuck's head hit the table, a delayed wince flowing from his mouth as he realized how hard the thud was. 

"Nodus Tollens." He replied, recalling the phrase that fit perfectly into what Donghyuck was feeling. What he was feeling as well.

"What kind of Harry Potter bullshit spell is that?" Mark snorted as Donghyuck's face rose up, his brows furrowed as he deciphered what Mark had said. 

They were both weary, drunk off their own emotions.

"It's the the realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore, Nodus Tollens, bro." 

"Stop casting spells. It's 12:32 am, we should leave." Donghyuck stood up, his hips clicking loudly, the sounds of his back cracking bouncing off the walls. "Don't 'bro' me, I'm gay, so it's Bromeo."

"What?" Mark grabbed their bags before Donghyuck could protest, leading his newly acquired friend out into the dark streets of Maptwood. He was pretty sure he knew the way back to Donghyuck's apartment. 

"I don't know. I think they spike their noodles with something in that shop. Maybe the brain damage from my beating is setting in." Donghyuck sighed, rubbing his temples as he followed behind Mark. It was dumb to have stayed out so late, seeing as he had to get up at ass o'clock to move his shit into his dorm, but he didn't regret it. Mark was a good guy. 

"Whatever, Bromeo."

 

When they finally arrived at the apartment complex, Yeri's shift was over and her spot behind the front desk was replaced by a boy who seemed to be around their age. He paid no attention to the two as they made their way to the elevator. Silence filled the space, and it felt like they were holding their breaths as the elevator went from floor to floor.

 

Donghyuck slotted his key into the lock of apartment 433, swinging it open with a little too much oomph. He turned to face Mark before he could even enter, a small smile playing at his lips. 

"You should head back to your dorm, no?" Mark only shrugged in response, not very keen on leaving. 

Donghyuck must have seen the hesitance in Mark's face, because he gave him a little shove. Mark noticed his little grimace as his right hand rubbed his bruised shoulder.

"Come on, you don't need to worry about me. But thank you, for doing so." He stared up at Mark.

Mark leaned on the doorframe, looking at Donghyuck with tired eyes. The fondness he felt for the other was so overwhelming, he couldn't be sure if it was just an effect of not having much human interaction for many weeks, or if Donghyuck just had a strange enigma to him that drew Mark in. Whatever it was, he found himself not minding. 

"Its no problem. You're moving into your dorm soon, right?" He passed the heap of bags to Donghyuck, who took them with a pleased look on his cute little face. 

Cute little face... 

"Mhm, so we'll see each other on campus. Hopefully in better circumstances." Donghyuck drew out the 's' in circumstances, swinging his leg to and fro as he leaned against the doorframe as well.

"I'd like that." He nodded, turning away to make his trek back to Teppeck Cross College.

"Goodnight, Bromeo."

Mark turned at that, shaking his head at the goofy smirk on Donghyuck's lips.

He heard a delicate hum traveling from the shutting door and into the hallway.

 

Mark walked to the subway with a stupid smile on his face.

He rode the subway with a stupid smile still on his face.

He entered his silent, dark dorm with a faded smile on his face.

He fell to his bed with tightly shut eyes and a frown.

 

He's awake now.

The reason? He doesn't know.

Subconsciously, he does know, and the reason gnaws at him, but he doesn't give the thought a chance to surface. Instead, he pushes it down and stares at his ceiling.

His gaze drifts from his ceiling to his window.

A little fleck is glowing. He recalls the trapped bugs he discovered only weeks ago. He felt guilty for not helping them, for not destroying the spider's web and letting them go free.

But the spider needed to eat, didn't it?

Sometimes he hated the prospect of natural selection. Sometimes he appreciated it.

Often, he wondered what natural occurrence would take his life. 

 

Mark didn't see Donghyuck for the rest of the week. Actually, he hadn't seen the outside world for the rest of the week.

He felt weighted down to his bed, like some force was pushing back on his chest whenever he attempted to get up. He busied himself with familiarizing the pattern of his bedsheets.

His thoughts were a mess, a jumble of ideas begging for attention. He had all the time in the world to sift through his worries, but couldn't quite bring himself to even attempt doing so.

Maybe later.

A loud thud from above pulled him out of his fleeting thoughts, muffled yelling stirring him to his feet. The dorms were practically abandoned for the holiday season, so his curiosity was jumping at the chance to have something to focus on. More so, an annoying voice in his head told him ' _Donghyuck must being moving in above._ ' 

Pushing his door open, Mark slipped out into the hall, not minding that he looked like a homeless youth. He hadn't bothered to put shoes on, his thick cabin socks the only barrier he had between his feet and the disgusting tiles of the floor. His sweatpants had collected little balls of lint from overuse, and his oversized sweater was wrinkled, hanging off his left shoulder as well. At least his glasses weren't smudged. 

He climbed the stairs cautiously, peering around the corner into the eerie hallway. The feeling of slight dread subsided as he watched a familiar boy drag a box into a room. 

It was Donghyuck, not a thief/murderer/deranged animal. Mark was about to turn and leave the boy alone to tend to his business, but he was caught by the eyes of the other.

"Mark!" Donghyuck hurried over, his untied shoe laces smacking against the tiles.

"Your shoes are untied..." He commented, earning a shrug from Donghyuck, and a reply consisting of something along the lines of 'Wanna tie them for me?'

But he wasn't paying much attention to what was being said, his gaze more focused on the healing bruise on Donghyuck's eye, and the glossiness of his lips. There was a pink tint to them. Pretty.

And then his hand was clasped by Donghyuck's and he was being led to the open door of dorm 824.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed!!! Sorry for the wait!
> 
> Who do you think Hyuck's roommate should be? It can't be Mark since he has a single dorm, but it could be anyone else! (I'm thinking Renjun? ;) )
> 
> Also! What ship should I write about for the next fic in this series? I'm open to anything!!!


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